I wanted to share a letter I received from a woman named, Jessica. She wrote to honor her kind and forgiving husband, who has been so instrumental in her own journey of restoration. It warmed my heart. I particularly love Joseph’s story at the end. Read all the way through. You’ll be glad you did.
“I read your article, A response to “A meditation on ‘My Wife has Tattoos: Marriage, New Birth and the Gospel.'”
It was totally right on and so was the response to the hurt girl. Thank you for writing this; it is absolute truth.
I am one with a past. I left bible college and went out had a wild life and lived in sin. Then I came back to Bible college and, yes, I was forgiven, and, yes, I was making my way back in ministry.
Joseph on the other hand did Not have a past. When we became friends and then began dating, he went thru a lot of stuff to help me. Early in our marriage, it was not easy for him.
I was in a very abusive relationship after leaving bible college. I was 18 and spent 7yrs of my life with this horrible guy. I left him finally and came back to bible college.
I found in dating and in our early marriage that seemingly easy things were hard. There were a lot of emotions and thought processes that I THOUGHT I had dealt with… NOT so. Yes you can make it… but I will tell you, Joseph is an amazingly patient and kind and loving man. I am very blessed.
It took lots of prayer, patience and even fasting while were dating. The past is there whether u want it there or not, and it is not something quickly forgotten (if ever).
I don’t share my story often but You are right; it is not an easy road back to redemption and you really have to allow the Lord into all of your life and heart. To be totally free, you have to give totally to the Lord… and that doesn’t happen overnight.
I had nightmares for yrs. Did Joseph know all this when he dated me? Yes! Was he willing to work with me and marry me? Yes! But did he think it wasn’t going to be a struggle and hard work? NEVER.
Healing is a process. Happy go lucky people think LOVE is all we need. Not so. You need wisdom, and the Word of the Lord, and a whole lot more to make it work.
I can say I am Free, and I help others in the same situation get out. I am now a pastors wife with an amazing testimony to Gods relentless love for me. But breaking those chains and renewing a broken mind body and spirit was no walk in the park.
I say to those who think it is, “Wow do you have a wakeup call coming!” When you have this horrible past, you bring baggage you didn’t even know you had. I had times of crying when Joseph would say or do something that would trigger the past. Joseph did nothing wrong but I had to break off fear and learn trust and to basically learn to love all over again.
If Joseph had gone into this marriage not knowing or understanding my deeply painful past. We would not be together. It was work for me to get free, and it was work for him to be understanding and kind.
He used to tell me a story when I would find myself upset. He would say, “You loved the other guy like a drug addict loves heroin, like an alcoholic loves the drink… But you love me like a musician loves to play, like an artist loves to paint… not out of need or desperation but out of a God kind of love thru patience and trust.” “
