The Scenario
I responded to a young man on Facebook the other day, who claims that his wife is dying of cancer, that he is underinsured, and has no work to earn money to feed his children.
I am not sure this is legitimate, but I am sure that the way he presented his situation lacked anything akin to sense or spiritual maturity.
He basically announced that anyone on his Facebook feed who doesn’t support universal healthcare and massive entitlement programs should unfriend him because 1. They think his wife deserves to die. 2. They think his kids deserved to starve to death. And 3. They are heartless and soulless and unchristian.
A slight paraphrase, but pretty close.
A Verbal Smorgasbord on Being in a Catch-22
I understand the frustration of feeling, as the expressions go, “between a rock and a hard place,” “like you can’t win for losing,” “up the creek without a paddle,” “like you’re bailing water with a sieve,” and “beating your head against a wall,” “like you can’t catch a break,” and are always “between the Devil and the deep blue sea,” “like the deck is stacked against you,” and that “you’re betting it all in a rigged game,” and any other that will do the trick.
I’ve lived this. I am living this. I labor hard for little profit and have a constant feeling of being unable to get ahead no matter what I do, no matter how much I serve others. I whine in my heart when some who shall not be named seem to get ahead with half the labor, less than half the knowledge, and a tenth of the dedication. I often joke that they will write on my tombstone, “A day late and a dollar short.” But that’s on me in the end. They must know things I don’t. They know how to succeed where I struggle.
However…
One of the marks of spiritual maturity is to learn to make choices based on what is right and not based on how one feels. We must separate feelings from truth.
A Verbal Smorgasbord on Feeling vs. Faith
God gave us emotions and they make life’s journey far more interesting than it would be without them… even the negative ones… but feelings must be in the passenger seat not behind the wheel, keeping us awake on the road but never navigating for us.
Feelings are great for spice, but gross as a main course.
They are a good rhythm section, but a terrible conductor.
They may get you hyped for the game, but shouldn’t be calling the plays.
We can do better!
In pick-up culture we might say that feelings make a great wingman but a terrible frontman.
Not bad as a wind in your sails, but don’t let them control the rudder.
Come on! Let’s do a few more.
Feelings make dazzling decorators, but if you let them design the blueprints, you’ll end up living in a circus funhouse.”
How about, “In the laboratory of faith, feelings are good catalysts, rotten controls,” and “In the cathedral of life they make beautiful stained glass but unstable support beams.”
Unwelcome Comfort and Guidance
I tried to comfort him… seriously, I was a lot kinder than I’m being here… but did warn him that asking people to support unwise and destructive government programs because of his personal pain is foolish. I said that emotionally manipulating people into voting for programs that would steal away his neighbor’s freedoms and profit just because he finds himself in a difficult situation is childish.
Grace, Mercy, and Justice
One may suffer and ask for help, but one must also understand the difference between grace, mercy, and justice. We must know the difference between what we are owed, and what we seek through charity. It is not right to emotionally blackmail people into robbing others to provide for you… no matter how desperate you feel.
Spiritual Maturity
A person with spiritual maturity suffers well, trusts himself into the hands of God, and seeks to give even from a standpoint of deep need. A spiritually mature person may ask for help, but he doesn’t rage and berate others for failing to save him in the style to which he’s grown accustomed. The mature person is a person with a profound sense of personal responsibility and an earnest sense of charitable duty to others. To turn that around by making demands on other people’s sense of charitable duty while having little commitment to meet one’s responsibilities in life, as in this man’s case, is a mark of spiritual infantilism.
Go Fund Me, You Big Meanie
His response was to send me a link to his go-fund-me page, and then to post to everyone else in his comments section how terrible I am… telling them that I want his wife to die… that I want his kids to starve! He wailed about how victimized he felt by meanie-old-me.
A Verbal Smorgasbord on Pain and Discipleship
Pain does not trump discipleship. Suffering does not excuse bad behavior. Hardship tests faith; it doesn’t redefine it.
Let’s do a few more.
Sorrow doesn’t suspend sanctification.
Misery is a teacher not a loophole.
Grief may wound the spirit but it mustn’t try to rewrite the commandments.
Brokenness needs mercy not moral exemption.
Our scars are meant to be testimonies not permission slips.
When sorrow writes the rules, righteousness loses.
When pain becomes our compass, the path of obedience vanishes.
I’m not trying to be mean. I’m just telling you how it is. So, pray for supernatural grace and act accordingly.
~Andrew D. Sargent, PhD
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