The game where clichés collide and logic dies laughing.
🃏 THE PREMISE
Tired of long conversations that demand nuance, facts, or logic?
Play Bumper Sticker Bingo!
A New Game for People Who’ve Stopped Thinking but Still Want to Sound Deep 🙋♀️
Fun for the whole Sit-In
And it rewards emotional clichés, moral posturing, and half-baked profundities, just like you do!
Each square is a “deep thought” that dissolves on contact with reality.
Collect five in a row at your next protest rally or pride parade and yell “Social Justice Rules!”
Each winner who performs their victimhood online earns a free year of Woke Illustrated. 🌈
🧃 CARD 1 – POP-PHILOSOPHY PACK
| 🧩 Slogan | 💭 Reality Check |
|---|---|
| Love is love. | Lust is not Love —definitions matter— Love Restrains, Lust Consumes! |
| Violence never solves anything. | Except as the ultimate solution since mankind established societies. #JusticeSystem |
| Follow your heart. | You mean that deceitful little organ Jeremiah warned about? |
| You do you. | Eden’s Oldest Lie in Three Little Words |
| Live your truth. | There’s only THE Truth—your “truth” is just a lie you like. |
| Don’t judge. | You just did. |
| Everything happens for a reason. | Sometimes the reason is that you’re stupid. |
| The universe has a plan. | Wow… like God but without personal accountability. |
| Karma will take care of it. | Karma’s a Fancy—But God is holy, just, & merciful |
| Good vibes only. | Denial isn’t a spiritual gift. |
✝️ CARD 2 – CHURCH SIGN EDITION
| 🧩 Slogan | 💭 Reality Check |
|---|---|
| God just wants you to be happy. | Actually, He wants you holy — joy follows obedience. |
| Faith over facts. | Faith isn’t creative control — it’s humble trust. Only God speaks things into existence… and you’re not Him. |
| God is my co-pilot. | Quick! Swap seats before impact. |
| Name it and claim it. | Prayer isn’t a selfish shopping list except in Old World Paganism |
| Only God can judge me. | Is that supposed to be comforting? #Hebrews10:31 |
| God won’t give you more than you can handle. | If you could handle it, you wouldn’t need God. Welcome to sanctification — that’s how faith grows. |
| It’s not a religion; it’s a relationship. | The Creed of the Sentimental—Usually said right before replacing discipleship with vibes. |
| We’re all God’s Children. | Tell that to John 1:12. Participation Trophy Theology. |
| Jesus was a socialist. | He wrote Thou Shalt Not Steal. Jesus preached sharing not seizing. #LoveDoesntLoot |
| The early church was communist. | Sorry, Charlie — they shared freely, not federally. Dysfunction is never a divine mandate. |
🏳️🌈 CARD 3 – PRIDE PARADE PACK
Add rainbow sparkles for extra moral points!
| 🧩 Slogan | 💭 Reality Check |
|---|---|
| Born this way. | You were born in sin too. Both demand repentance. |
| Love wins. | Yes — when defined by the Creator. Love doesn’t rejoice in unrighteousness (I Corinthians 13:6) |
| Gender is a construct. | Funny how the “construct” shows up in every cell. |
| Transition is liberation. | From reality, maybe. |
| Trans rights are human rights. | Rights don’t rewrite chromosomes. |
| Celebrate diversity. | As long as it promotes Marxism. |
| ☪☮𝔼✡⚧☯✝ | But all the other letters hate the ✡ and ✝. And the ☪ wants to kill them all… including other ☪s. Seeking peaceful compromise with those determined to kill you is slow suicide. |
| Diversity is our strength. | When it means gifts and talents, yes. When it means morals, values and truth it’s a recipe for inefficiency, dysfunction and chaos. Unity in Truth is our strength. |
| Inclusion means disruption. | That’s not inclusion; that’s invasion. |
| Truth is subjective. | The Creed of liars. Gravity called; reality answered. |
| Words don’t have meaning; people do. | So you admit yours mean nothing / The philosophy of double speak that killed 200 million of those meaningful people. |
✊🏿 CARD 4 – BLACK LIVES MATTER RALLY EDITION
Now featuring the Marxist Expansion Pack!
| 🧩 Slogan | 💭 Reality Check |
|---|---|
| No Justice No Peace. | Threats aren’t arguments. |
| The system isn’t broken; it was built that way. | And it still works way better than anything humanists have come up with. Gratitude—mocked by those who produce nothing but theories. |
| Racism = prejudice + power. | Marxism’s first failed equation. Math and Racism were both simpler before activists did the arithmetic. |
| Whiteness is the problem. | Irony: judging by race to end racism. |
| Color-blindness is racism. | Brought to you by the Ministry of Truth. Big Brother would be proud. |
| Your discomfort is part of the process. | Gaslighting in a motivational disguise. Abuse rebranded as growth. |
| Check your privilege. | Check your assumptions. |
| Lived experience is truth. | Except when it contradicts the woke narrative. |
| History is written by the winners. | And Re-written by Facebook Fact Checkers. |
💅 CARD 5 – FEMINIST FURY PACK
Because nothing says liberation like anger management issues.
| 🧩 Slogan | 💭 Reality Check |
|---|---|
| My body my choice. | Said right before murdering someone else… but never before demanding masks, seatbelts, immodesty, and experimental “vaccines.” |
| Women don’t owe you pretty. | True — but pretty is part of women’s power. Why trade beauty for bitterness. Kindness looks good on everyone. |
| Smash the patriarchy. | Start with your dad’s credit card… then work your way back until you’re all living in caves again. Hope you don’t mind if we conservatives keep it. But you go on ahead and let us know how it works out for you. |
| Well-behaved women seldom make history. | Because they are too busy building the future instead of unraveling the fabric of civilization. And badly-behaved women are seldom happy. |
| Happy wife happy life. | Appeasement isn’t affection & Happiness rarely comes to those who seek it. |
| Behind every successful woman is herself. | And a civilization built by the men she despises. |
| Don’t tell me to smile. | Fine. But maybe stop demanding validation for the frown. Your misery is a lousy movement. |
| Feminism is the radical notion that women are people. | Moat and Bailey much? Almost everyone already agrees with the people part. It’s the radical part we’re debating. |
🧘 CARD 6 – SELF-HELP & THERAPY-SPEAK EDITION
The rebrand that Narcissism always needed
| 🧩 Slogan | 💭 Reality Check |
|---|---|
| Self-care isn’t selfish. | Until it forgets everyone else. — The creed of the self-absorbed — usually preached at the funeral of relationships. |
| Protect your peace. | Peace without truth is sedation. |
| Don’t chase people. | Because indifference is the new emotional intelligence. Redemptive love pursues the lost. |
| Know your worth — and add tax. | Arrogance with better PR. Pride re-branded as empowerment still comes before a fall. |
| You can’t pour from an empty cup. | Try refilling it with something other than selfishness. |
| Choose yourself. | And lose yourself in the process ~Jesus |
| Release what no longer serves you. | Translation: Run from anything that requires sacrifice and growth. Because commitment is so last century. |
| Stop watering dead plants. | Also, maybe stop calling people made in the image of God dead plants. |
🧠 CARD 7 – ACADEMIC MADNESS PACK
Where logic goes to die, and tenure pays for the funeral.
| 🧩 Slogan | 💭 Reality Check |
|---|---|
| Logic is a tool of oppression. | Perfect alibi for failing philosophy class. |
| There are no absolutes. | Are you absolutely sure? |
| Facts are tools of hegemony. | Truth doesn’t check party affiliation. |
| Deconstruct everything. | Including that sentence? |
| Morality is just evolution’s survival code. | Well morals certainly are somebody’s survival code. Do you really want to ignore the lessons? |
| Trust the science. | Until next week’s paper contradicts it. |
| The science is settled. | Said no actual scientist, ever. |
| Logic is a Western construct. | True — and so is the toilet. Which one would you rather flush? |
🕊 BONUS CARD – SPIRITUAL CONFUSION SAMPLER
When faith leads everywhere but to God
| 🧩 Slogan | 💭 Reality Check |
|---|---|
| All paths lead to God. | Not according to any of the maps history has followed. |
| God is love, period. | Yes, and also holy, righteous, and just. |
| Faith without activism is dead. | James wrote about good works, not “hashtags” and virtue signaling. |
| Religion is the opiate of the masses. | And atheism is fentanyl for the soul. |
| Be the change you wish to see in the world. | Step one: repent. Step two: Change yourself before taking on centuries old complex systems armed with nothing more than irritation with your environment. |
| Love means never having to say you’re sorry. | That’s not love — that’s narcissism or sociopathy. |
| Forgive and forget. | Forgive, yes. Forget, no. It’s unkind to let bad people continue to do harm. |
| Church hurt. | Because the godless are so kind. Healing doesn’t start with leaving; it starts with honesty and forgiveness. |
| Too anointed to be disappointed. | Pride with a hallelujah on top — because pretending your fantastic counts as faith now. |
🏁 HOW TO PLAY
- Pick your pack: Pop-Philosophy, Church Sign, BLM Rally, or Pride Parade (collect them all!).
- Attend any protest, sermon, or social-media scroll.
- Cross off slogans as they appear.
- Shout “BINGO!” when you achieve full cognitive dissonance.
🎁 COMING SOON
- 🏫 Campus Edition: Earn extra points for safe-space alerts.
- 💼 Corporate Workshop Edition: Includes HR-approved buzzwords like “lived values” and “belongingness.”
💡 TAGLINE
🅱️ Bumper Sticker Bingo — because slogans are cheaper than thinking. Buy yours today!!!
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