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Why So Many Christians Are Upset About Same-Sex “Marriage” and Why You Aren’t

man and wifeFor those who don’t understand why most Christians care so deeply about the same sex “marriage” issue, let me explain. My discussion is long, multiple times longer than my normal blogs, but please be patient… and I’d read the footnotes too.

Be warned, I am, like you, snarky… mostly because I don’t believe people who promote the media driven agenda care about understanding anyone else, and doubt you will actually bother reading this all the way through. I also doubt they even bother to try to understand themselves most of the time. Even so, here I go.[1]

We are NOT opposed to same-sex “marriage” because we are hateful, bigoted, narrow minded, ignorant, prudish, lemon sucking, poor sports who are just angry that we can’t force everyone into our religion; we, unlike those committed to the leftwing agenda, believe in preaching not forcing… even if we enjoy a little tweaking (not twerking) of others on occasion.[2] Whatever the propaganda machine known as media (social or otherwise) rages to you about our reasons for holding our positions, I can assure you these are not them.

Are there people like this in the church, Yup! Just like there are people like this in every religion[3]… and among the irreligious folks like you. Since the church is made up of people, whatever ails the human race ails the church… the one difference is that we call it out as sin[4] and strive to overcome our darker natures and to provoke our better angels… so to speak. I’m trying to be poetic not religious talkie.

We are NOT opposed to same-sex marriage because we just don’t understand how powerful the sex drive can be. We understand that quite well and struggle as humans are wont to do to channel our own sex drives into appropriate channels, to keep them from running amuck in our lives and in society. Sex is awesome. When contained with self-discipline and proper affections it is a powerful tool for binding a man and a woman into intimate bonds of family.

We know the pull of eroticism without limits, the joys it falsely promises if only the rest of the world would stop impinging on our ability to indulge without guilt, shame, or judgment. We know it well. We fail; we fall, in the mind often, in the body too sometimes, but on the whole, we try to get ourselves right again, to get back on track with productive manifestations of our sexuality. We know that sex has a price tag. We know the dangers of erasing all the boundaries.

We get it. We know how easily one’s sex drive, like any appetite, can be twisted into horrible shapes. Human responses to various forms of abuse and neglect and selfish impulse can do devastating things to our sexuality. Sex is a blessing but it can be perverted in ugly contortions. We know how easily confusion can set in at points in our lives when we needed guidance to understand ourselves and either nobody was there to guide, or what guides we had coaxed and seduced us down self-destructive paths. It is easy to fall into the trap of using other people for one’s own self-gratification, eroding and sometimes outright destroying our soul’s capacity for true intimacy. You will never be free until you are free from having to gratify yourself at other people’s expense.

This is not hate, so drop the manipulative accusation. The accusation of “hate” has only a few functions—to end conversation, to dismiss the need for understanding, to justify yourselves when you strip us of our basic human rights and try to force us to comply with… No! Not merely comply… compel us to CELEBRATE your goals for society.

If we know anything about the history of human civilizations, we are quite aware of just how disastrous unchecked human sexuality can be, driven on by unchecked selfishness, which is woven to the core of the human heart…always has been, always will be. You imagine a glorious age of godless existence where nobody tells anyone else how to live their lives; you think you are describing paradise. We know you are describing a psychologically dishonest fantasy where the real mechanics of human interaction have no place. We’ve seen what the godless do with the world when they get full control of it. It’s not glorious and we don’t want to live there.

We know that sex is never “just sex”… that it is more than the biological processes that make up the act, and that man is more than animated material. We were born for monogamous intimacy in a productive family bond and anything in attitude or action that destroys that capacity should be resisted.

We know that what happens in Vegas NEVER stays in Vegas, it becomes a part of you, it changes who you are, and shapes what you will become. We know that every act, every choice is a step on a road, and one must always ask, “Where is this road taking me?” As a member of a society one must always ask, “How do my choices help or hurt those around me.” The answer is rarely, “They don’t do either.” Your inability to measure your impact does not negate impact. You are a part of us, a part of the whole.

You want a society without moral boundaries.[4a] You are convinced that truest happiness for each individual and for society as a whole will be found in an environment without gender distinctions, without sexual restraint, without consequences for sexual choices.[5] Get pregnant when you don’t want to, or did want to, but changed your mind… no problem; you can pay some doctor to stab it in head, suck it into pieces with high power vacuum tubes, poison it.[6] Your body your right.[7]

We are convinced that your chosen path ends in a societal sewer that does not merely affect the individual, but also fills OUR world[8] with people without self-discipline, fully intent on taking what they want from others without personal consequence. (starting with stripping us of the freedom to disagree with your agenda.) We don’t want to watch you bath in that sewer; we don’t want to be forced to join you in that sewer, and we don’t want you to have the power or authority to forcibly seduce our children into that sewer.

Are you offended that I called the end of your agenda a sewer? This is an article designed to help you understand, so I’m giving it to you straight.[9] The Christians that I know love all people and desire to see all people come to a knowledge of the truth, no matter what they’ve done in life, but our gospel message (i.e. the good news of Jesus Christ, that we preach) is the good news of salvation from the eternal consequences of our sinful rejection of God and our heart’s dedication to self-gratifying purposes. Without the bad news, however—we are sinners and need to see ourselves this way—the good news—there is a hope, grace and mercy in Christ for the repentant—has no meaning.

Now… Many imagine that the state’s primary concern in marriage is the administration of contractual negotiations between people over property & children in both the making, the exercising the rights of, and the dissolving of these unions. There is a certain truth to that, but there is also a powerful societal stake in the preservation of the traditional family unit in terms of societal strength and health. Strong families are the backbone, the foundation, the hope of a stable world.[10] What makes for strong families makes for the protection and betterment of society. What destroys or erodes families damages society. This should not be dismissed out of hand by those who are just SOOOOO sure that nothing bad could possibly happen to society by forcing it down an untried path. If you have no reluctance then you have no sense.

Even so, it is not merely these things that cause the Christian to reject the very idea of gay “marriage.”

When you get right down to it, Christianity, and most other religions for that matter, view marriage as having a sacred and covenantal element to it.

Now if you are not religious, you may not get what difference “sacred” and “covenantal” makes. What this means is that, however imperfectly Christians sometimes maintain their marriages (we are only human after all and subject to all the same struggles as other human beings) marriage is a sacred union before God, bathed in oaths, sworn by vows, meant to be honored monogamously for life.[11]

Jesus Christ, whom you really should get to know in earnest (collecting random bits of imaginings about him from out of context quotes doesn’t count)… anyway, Jesus, in an argument over Jewish divorce practices, said of marriage in the book of Matthew 19:4-6 (feel free to look it up in larger context) “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Our sacred literature, what we call The Bible, declares three things to us. 1. homosexuality is an abomination (strong language)[12] (Leviticus 18:22) & 2. God loves and cherishes all men and desires to redeem those trapped in this lifestyle and other sins as well. (John 3:16… I’m sure you’ve seen this one at televised sporting events.) 3. Even so, those who refuse to acknowledge and repent of their sins and to seek the salvation offered through Jesus Christ will be judged. (2 Timothy 4:1)

Homosexuality is not merely a fudging of the lines a bit in acts of immorality, it is a casting off of the created order. You may not like that we believe this. You may argue and say, “That’s hateful!” It might boggle your mind given your deconstructionist and supposed dialogical view of human sexuality.[13] That is what our sacred literature says, however, and this is not a light thing to us. We’ve done our own investigations and are convinced that Scripture speaks true on this score.

So, do the math.

  1. Homosexuality is regarded by us as a violation not merely of moral laws, but of the very order of creation.[14] (Again, we won’t change just because you hate us for believing this, call us hateful names, and threaten to drive us into extinction over it.)
  2. Marriage is meant to be a life-long sacred bond made before our creator with oaths and vows.
  3. Thus, same sex “marriage” is to us both a misnomer and a SACRILEGE.

The very idea that you would make a mockery out of marriage (thus, weddings) by asking us, by trying to force us[15] to bless these “marriages” with our participation on almost any level is HIGHLY OFFENSIVE TO US, to our sense of ourselves at the most basic levels of our humanity… however much we may care for and cherish the people involved… people for whom we pray.

Unfortunately, you seem to care not a wit that even after years of pounding away at definitions of marriage through a vicious media barrage by left minded people like yourself, after dominating the schools since the early 60s, and the media since the early part of the last century, those who have been championing it have lost that fight in nearly every place that it has appeared on the ballot for the people to voice an opinion. Even California voted it down in 2008. Other than in Maine in 2012 and Maryland in 2013 this issue has failed to gain voting approval. In every other state that legalized same-sex “marriage” it was forced through, often overtly overriding the expressed will of the people, by activist judges, and legislators.[16] You have circumvented the will of the people to bring this about, subverting the democratic processes of the nation, manipulating the constitution, and breaking down the separation of powers in our government.

Are we supposed to feel good about this? Is getting same-sex “marriage” worth it to you? You took control of the boat by shooting some of the crew and blasting a hole in the bottom of the boat at the same time. Yet, blinded by your own determination to live a life without limits, you celebrate. Indeed, your companions have spewed the most vile expressions of hatred against me and my brothers and sisters in their celebration. Do you imagine that anything that begins with indecency and putrescence will lead to the good of society?

Putting even that aside for the moment, many of you who champion this decision by the supreme Court of the United State regard yourselves as “sensitive” and “tolerant” and must, therefore, if you really are any of these things, respect the fact that we more than match your strong feelings with strong feelings of our own, your “offense” with offense of our own. Disagreement is where tolerance begins, not ends.

You who are offended by the use of “racist” things like “peanut butter and jelly sandwiches,”[17] who rail at the historic use of masculine pronouns and words like guys and girls, and have meltdowns over the very visage of a confederate flag, have shown little care that you are trampling with abandon on foundational beliefs of the largest, most diversified religion in the world by trying to redefine marriage.

Indeed, if you visited a foreign country where bread is regarded as sacred and were warned to treat it with respect by not wasting it, throwing it away, or tearing it up on your plate to give your fingers something to do, would you callously trample loaves of bread in the streets, laughing outrageously at the ridiculousness of the inhabitants who dare to care deeply about something you don’t? I doubt it.

You show respect for women in Berkahs and for Jewish people wearing Yamakas. You defend Muslim rage over art events that feature Mohammad, saying that it’s not right to show such disrespect for the Islamic prophet.[18] You are constantly offended by everything on behalf of almost everyone… save Christians. No. You readily, happily trounce on our most sacred institution—marriage—in a sacrilegious attempt to redefine it, and rage when we make a fuss. You parade about in the streets in open mockery of Christ[19] and spit on priests,[20] but label us hateful for the very act of disagreeing with you.

Here we stand; we can do no other.

Where will you stand?

The call of God to repentance is a terrifying experience. I feel the pain of it in my own life, gnawing away at my heart, weighing on my mind over areas of personal struggle. One can hardly even imagine what life will be for them if they give up this, stop doing that, change their opinions on this other thing. How hard it is to give up the familiar for that strange unknown country where your entire orientation to life will be reshaped into something that you cannot even imagine. One is asked to empty themselves of thoughts, practices, processes mental and physical that, no matter how unsatisfying in the end, are at least known. The heart asks that nagging question, “What else is there? What will I be without this thing? What will I do if I’m not doing this? It will be torture. I get it… I really do.

There are better things out there than the moral morass that so many in this society and media and government have to offer you. If you have been injured in your soul by abuse, neglect, or the natural consequences of so many of your choices, there is hope for you. That hope, however, is not found in the message preached to you by the secularist[21] bleating of this age. It is found in God and his word; it is found in Jesus Christ.

I hope you seek him out. I’ll get you the help you need to change your life and thinking if you want to change. I may be snarky at times, but I love you and Jesus loves you. May the light of Christ shine upon your heart.


[1] Yes, I’m off to a great start… insulting my “intended readers” within the first few seconds of my discussion. Oh, what? Oh, what is my mother going to do with me.? I’m just incorrigible.  Some imagine that soft coaxing is the only way to deal with people. I’m not one of them. I might also add a caveat, since some people have criticized my post on this score. You are not reading a theological treatise. You are reading an opinion piece that has more than a few hours invested into lengthy online discussion with myriads of people of various persuasions, and many years of theological training. Some of you will not completely fit the paradigm of thought and opinion that I address here, just as many Christians would not lay personal claim to my portrayal of Christians. That’s life… there is NO 100% of anything… ‘cept death and taxes. Our nation is at war. It’s a war of visions. In that war of visions there is some variation. I think—based on my all day every day engagement of social media (which is maddening by the way) reading articles, responding to posts, debating, as well as reading volumes on everything from Biblical studies to theology to politics and economics, day in and day out—that my encapsulation, while snarky at points, holds true for one side of this war.

[2] This does not mean that we abdicate our roles as citizens and allow the irreligious to dictate everything in society. We, like you, have a right to protect ourselves and our children from undesirable influences. We have a constitution and separation of powers to restrain the citizen government, and processes of law and order to restrain the citizenry. We, like you, will continue to use them.

[3] Muslims, for instance… you remember them; they’re one of your favorite tools to destroy Christian influence in America. They truly hate not just homosexuality, at least in name, but they hate homosexuals. They want to throw them off buildings, chop off their heads, smash their heads in with stones, drown them in cages… and a dozen other creative means of dispatching undesirables. Now if you would like to go over to Saudi Arabia, Iran, Iraq, or Jordan and have yourself a Gay Pride Parade, you are welcome to it. You will then discover what oppression and persecution really looks like… at least for the 30 or so minutes it takes you to die at their hands. Having people disapprove of you or offend you is not persecution by the way.

[4] One might define SIN broadly as “missing the mark of God’s will and purpose in our lives.” This gives a rather weak perception of what we mean by the term. Sins, no matter what some Christians will try to tell each, are not equal. All sin is equal in the sense that it separates us from God, who is Holy, but not in the sense that it has equal weight in the soul, in society, or in final judgment. Some sins are more destructive, more ensnaring than others. The most destructive and most ensnaring sins get the English label “abominations.”

[4a] Obviously, I am using the term morality here to speak of sexual morality. One may also subsume strong feelings of right and wrong in regard to murder, theft, lying and the like under the rubric of morality. It is also common among the left to regard commitments to social justice issues— usually provoked by concerns over an artificially crafted equality of produce for citizens regardless of starting point, natural gifting, investment, labor, natural or cultural inclinations and personal choices and interests—as THE morality of a society or individual.

[5] The irony of this obvious, I hope, given the larger program of the left. You want to forcibly control every aspect of human society—food supply, medical care, wages, smoking, educational content and paradigms, economics, environment. You want to tell us how much soda to drink (but we can have as much alcohol as we can stand), what to eat and how much we should cook it, how much salt to use, how much water to use in our homes, what kind of light bulbs to use. You want to strip away our freedom to protect ourselves, our freedom to freely associate or NOT associate, our freedom of speech, the freedom of the press. You hate parental rights and want the federal government to exercise supreme power over all parenting choices. Sex, however, should be a free for all. You can’t even imagine that this might be a problem for the functionality of society… only joy, so, full steam ahead.

[6] If it was a puppy, kitten, eagle egg, or some other woodland creature big or small, of course, you’d bend the heavens to protect it even if it bankrupted the nation.

[7] Unless of course one wants to make choices about his or her own medical care, like whether to have vaccinations.

[8] You do remember that we live here too, right? Right?

[9] Like so many this week who boasted proudly on social media that they hoped I’d die personally, called me morally diseased, others that they hoped all Christians would all die, that we would be imprisoned, starved to death, have our skulls caved in… yada yada yada.

[10] Even people who hate the family as an instrument of inequity in society recognize this point. http://www.nationalreview.com/article/417997/professor-if-you-read-your-kids-youre-unfairly-disadvantaging-others-katherine-timpf

[11] I would love to carry on a discussion of Scripture’s relationship to monogamy in terms of its association with polygamy. Don’t bother tossing ill-conceived memes at me about what you imagine is going on there. I specialize in this area of biblical studies and I can assure you there is more going on there than you can perceive with a shallow investigation.

[12] Now those who, like our ill-informed President, wish to mock the idea of abomination because some things like the eating of eagles is called an abomination, let me just emphasize how important it is to read these texts in context… a context you are unlikely to be able to navigate without someone like me (and there are other people like me out there) who’ve studied these matters properly. The word emphasizes disgust and revulsion, and high offense. It would take too long right now to explain the covenantal and holiness code issues surrounding early Jewish dietary rules, but trust me… the word is NOT randomly applied. One would as soon urinate on the temple as to violate things used as covenant signs.

[13] Deconstructionism involves the process by which the meaning of a thing is negated by challenging the absolute certainty of the definitions and limits of the parts of a thing. You reason that sex is no more than a biological process, a rubbing of flesh to the point of convulsive responses in certain organs. You try to reason as to why the means by which—or the person with whom—this rubbing and convulsion takes place could possibly matter to us. You are, thus, flummoxed and full of rage at the stupidity of those who say it does matter… how oppressive they are. (Of course, by deconstructionist processes I can analyze an atomic weapon as questionably functioning pieces and declare it harmless.) You try to use dialogical processes (reasoning logically from discernable effect to discernable cause) to reason your way to moral statements, rejecting all past voices in the analysis out of hand, making your own reasoning capacity supreme in all matters of morality and ethics. You don’t accept certain things as evidence in this “investigation” because you are not REALLY thinking dialogically; you are REALLY just trying to flesh out a heart deep vision that you have of the world… one in which there is no God, thus, no moral law, and in which human nature is moldable if only the right people take control of everything and forcibly reshape all governments, laws, cultures and institutions. Real evidence, validation, and proofs have no part in your thinking… though you will find this suggestion highly offensive to your sense of yourself as the only truly thinking person in the room.

[14] Don’t bother trying to convince us that homosexuals are born that way, nobody has been able to validate that claim on any level… save by the most creative anecdotal wish concoctions imaginable.

[15] Please don’t insult my intelligence or demonstrate your own ignorance by pretending that anti-discrimination laws are not already mounting against the Christian church. In every state and nation where same-sex “marriage” has been introduced people are being sued out of business, threatened with arrest, forced into sensitivity re-education. The push is already on to strip away tax-exempt status from any non-profit organization (like churches and Christian run charities) that take religious exception to gay “marriage.”

[16] Now the very idea of an activist judge should be a contradiction in terms. The role of the judge was never intended to be to shape the law of the land from the bench by deciding how the judge FEELS about a law, and laying down judgments meant to re-write the laws of the land. Thus, anyone who believes in traditional American processes of separation of powers and constitution should hate the idea of activist judges even if they agree with the vision that these judges have for their redesign of America.

[17] http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/11/is-peanut-butter-and-jelly-racist_n_1874905.html

[18] Though you heartily supported government sponsored art that dropped the cross of Christ in a jar of urine. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piss_Christ

[19] The Hunky Jesus Contest is an annual Homosexual mockery of Christ in San Francisco. http://www.sfweekly.com/sanfrancisco/hunky-jesus-contest-at-dolores-park/Slideshow?oid=2684162

[20] http://www.bizpacreview.com/2015/06/29/catholic-priest-reports-getting-spit-on-at-gay-marriage-parade-219042

[21] Secular means essentially, a merely material perspective of existence without consideration of spiritual realities.

3 thoughts on “Why So Many Christians Are Upset About Same-Sex “Marriage” and Why You Aren’t

  1. Tom says:

    I’ve never considered hate as a manipulative accusation- so there it is. I truly enjoyed picking up on the issue from your perspective and found this helpful. Much appreciated. – Tom

  2. Frank says:

    I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your labor of love, like a pilot struggling to regain control of a plummeting aircraft for the safety of all on board, I we are not too far down the slippery slope, it would be a shame to let this lively experiment fail on our watch

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